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Can You Guess What They Are? There's no need to hire a guide if you have a conscience. Cows are not found in china closets. If you find a sting, Death's looking for it. If I keep anyone, it won't be my brother! If it's not faith, you can give it away. If there were no trees, you could see the forest. If you own a grindstone, you probably have a sharp nose. If something's wet, it must not be a bone. If you are playful, you must be a small cat. Islands must be female. Stay off the roads -- unless you want to see Italy. If your clock has stopped, you must have looked at it. If the pot is not boiling, quit watching it. If it's made of gold, it will be silent. If it's covered, you can't tell if it's a book. If you see a man with a white cane, he may be followed by a group wearing dark glasses. I'll give you only one cent for what you're thinking. If it has small ears, it must be a large pitcher. Then can it be assumed that four heads are better than two? I'll eat and I'll drink, but I won't be Mary! A cat must be a man's worst enemy. If you see a thousand eyes, it must be dark. If you see felines and canines, it must be raining. If the savage beasts are soothed, they must be listening to music. If you make a partial mixture containing sugar and spice, a female child may result. Brunettes and redheads seldom have fun. Only people with deep skin are beautiful. The grass on this side of the fence is not very green. If you have managed to save a penny, you've earned it. If it lasts forever, it must be nothing. If it glitters, it must not be gold. You'll get twice as much light; but they'll only last half as long if you burn your candles that way. If it gathers moss, it must not be the Rolling Stones. That's the first purple horse I ever saw. If it makes no noise, it must be a mouse. If you are thin, you must not be a thief. If it's not white, it must not be a ghost. If your doorbell only rings once, don't expect any mail. If you are going the limit, you must be in the sky. NO,You MAY NOT kiss the BRIDESMAID! If it's a bell, you should be able to see through it. If you'll wait a few minutes before stitching it, you can still save eight. Old men should go east. If it's young, it's not a hill. Time waits only for women. The ounce ratio of prevention to cure is one to sixteen. If it's fury you want, forget hell; just find a scorned woman. A mixture of nails, escargot and canine parts may produce a male child. If an undernourished lady is singing, it's not over yet. Be on guard against bedbug attacks. If you see someone coming who's looking at you, you're about to be conquered. Where shall I let the chips fall? If you receive a horse as a gift, refrain from looking in its mouth. Putting the wagons in a triangle won't do. The cow leaped toward Mars; but once past the moon, it decided to return to Earth. If you've misplaced your heart, try looking at home. If you would take those one-cent coins out of your eyes, you could see the sun just fine. Try to find a straw in a stack of needles! If you have a black kettle, expect a call from a pot. PSSST -- The word's 'MUM'. "Well,then, what's the SECOND best policy?" asked the senator. ALL things rotten are not in Denmark. "Oh yeah? Let's see you SWORDFIGHT with that silly pen!" If it's clear outside you must be on the coast. If you don't want a thousand ships launched, don't look at this face! If you are easy to find, you must not be an honest man. I haven't been content all winter. If you want a kingdom, find someone in need of a horse. That window over yonder will break if light passes through it. If no one can see you, but can hear you, then you must not be a child. In the end, you will be justified if you are mean. If you get out of my sight, I'll go out of my mind! If you've never cried, no one's ever had to mop up your milk messes. If your bedfellow is a bit strange, he's probably a politician. If you are being beheld by someone, that person must have beautiful eyes. If you are never wrong, you must be a customer. If you laugh loudest, you must not have been the first one to laugh. If you get something for nothing, you're a nobody. "Hey,your horse can't PUSH that cart!" "Are you going to eat that cake or not?" There's the dog that bit me -- I recogize his hair! It's O.K. to bite the hand that has no food in it. No dog has his night. "Stick 'em up, Peter!" "Here's your money, Paul." A thousand words are worth only ONE picture. Only AMERICANS believe in motherhood and apple pie. Stop eating apples, and a physician will show up on your doorstep daily. If you want good things to come to you, just wait for them. There's plenty of room at the bottom. Before love, the world stood still. If you part soon, you are a foolish person with money. If water moves rapidly, it is shallow. Anyone other than you cannot prevent forest fires. If you are twice as shy as anyone else, then you must have been bitten once. Hopefully, your intelligence will match that of a whip. If your dog is wide awake, don't let him lie down. Birds with more than one feather never flock together. If Will isn't around, there's no way. Taking wooden dimes is O.K. If you are unhealthy, poor and stupid, it's because you go to bed late and oversleep. If it's coming around, it's already been around. Birds in the bush are only half as valuable as the one in your hand. If you want a weak chain, stop using so many strong links. If something goes easy, it came easy. If someone has a silver spoon in his mouth, it's been there since birth. If you are a bee, you are neither a borrower or a lender. Is it true Rome was built at night? If you are a chooser, you are unable to beg. I'm not aware of the side of my bread that has no butter on it. A healthy wind never blows. If a pig has been poked, don't buy it. If you're looking down, don't expect to see a jig. A teaspoon of SALT will bring that medicine right back up! Mercifully, THE END! - Ross Menoher - Back to the Main Page You are Provoked Proverb Fan Last updated on September 2, 2000 by Ross Menoher |